Pam Litchford Counseling

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Killer Words

Let’s start our day off with a cheesy joke from quickfunnyjokes.com:

Q: Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves? 

A: A Panda

This joke should read "eats chutes and leaves" as in the green, bushy, variety type. This joke has to be based on the book by the name of “Panda Eats Shoots and Leaves - why commas really do make a difference”. There is a children’s book and an adult book. Both are pretty entertaining.  I’m going to base the rest of our time together on this joke but I feel like I probably neglected to make you laugh so let’s have a go at another joke. 

Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? 

A: Because it was cultured. 

haha - okay, let’s get back to the Panda joke. 

This joke reminds me of the power of our words and how a misspoken or misinterpreted word, a word spelled one way that can mean two different things, or the ill placed comma can make all the difference in our communication with others! 

One glance at this joke could have you envisioning the Panda, coming into a restaurant with a gun and he eats, then shoots up everything and then leaves. Or, it could simply be a hungry Panda that comes in and orders and eats some green “chutes and leaves” off of the menu. Sometimes our language and grammar can be so confusing!   So today, let’s focus on the spoken word and leave the Oxford comma debate for another day. 

How can our words be “Pert” while still dealing with a difficult situation or relationship? Sometimes we are so mad, sad or fearful that we just barge into a room with someone that we want to speak to and start shooting and leave - shooting with our words and then high - tailing it out of there after we have shot the place up or when the return fire bullets start flying. 

Whoa whoa whoa let’s slow this all down. Do you really know how powerful your words are? Have you ever been yelled at? 

Sometimes just the force of the words are painful enough to receive. Like taking a bullet. Sometimes the actual words are what hurts. 

On the flip side, has anyone ever said something encouraging to you? Mmmm…those feel good don’t they? Even if someone yelled, “Hey smarty!” um…I will still receive those words well. hahaha Thank you for very much. 

That reminds of an old memory  - Leave it to my brother to tell me for the first time in my life “Wow, you look beautiful.” Justttt as I was about to walk down the aisle for my wedding. I pretty much cried for most of the wedding because I couldn’t get my shock and emotions under control. So, please don’t WAIT to tell someone something kind. Do it before the biggest day of their life. Or death. 

Maybe there are words you really need to say to someone, whether hard to hear words or healing words, you know down in your gut that you need to say something. It reminds me of the John Mayer song “Say what you need to say”. If you aren’t familiar with this song, look it up. This “say what you need to say” is such a huge topic and it is the subject of many books but today I just want you to go into your day aware of the power to hurt or heal just with your words. 

Please don’t go shooting and leaving the scene of an encounter with someone.  Instead, take a tip from a Panda - go to lunch and eat a leafy green salad with a friend , co-worker or partner. Say something nice or even if you have to say something difficult, say it in a kind way. 

5 tips to help you say what you need to say: 

  1. Think about your words before you meet (gather your thoughts).

  2. Practice saying the words - at home, in front of a mirror, write it down - edit as needed. 

  3. Think about how it may sound to the receiving party.

  4. THEN pick an appropriate time to say these words (ask the person when would be a good time to talk; this will also enable them to not be completely caught blind-sided)

  5. Then do your best to deliver your message in a way that you would want to receive those same words.   Like my grandmother would say, “Treat others the way you would want to be treated”.