Read, instead of listen to, the abridged transcript of the podcast:
Joke from quickfunnyjokes.com
Q: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose?
A: Yoga pants.
My focus today is about pants. Ever put some on and they suddenly wouldn’t button? Ouch.
That reminds me of a day, over 25 years ago, when a friend told me that she had gained 20 lbs over the past year. Her pants were not fitting her anymore. And they had not created yoga pants yet! How did we even live back then???
Maybe yoga pants have been beneficial in getting people to yoga but those pants have also allowed some of us to just keep on eating and not feeling it in our pants.
Anyway - back to my friend. She said she had not made any food changes. None. She said she took the same type of lunch to work and prepared a basic dinner at night. She never battled her weight before so I was a little alarmed and thought maybe she had something medically going wrong.
I put on my detective hat and asked her something along the lines of what other changes have you made to your life? More stress? Less exercise? Anything? Then she said that she had bought a new house and it had a great screened in back porch. She loved to sit on it with her family and neighbors.
Ok…that sounded like a good thing. Maybe she was doing a little more sitting than normal. Hmmm. Then she said they had started drinking a glass of red wine while they sat and chatted. Ok…that’s 120 calories.
I asked how many glasses she would have a night. 2. How many times did they get together a week? 6 evenings. I’m no math wizard but 120 times 2 times 6 x 52 weeks equals right at 20 lbs!
When we realized that there was a clear reason why she had gained 20 lbs, I think we were relieved! And we just laughed and laughed about it!
We have come a long way in being educated on calories and nutrition since then, and my friend and I were both young and thinner at the time. We would probably know better these days. But, maybe not. we seem to have even more food and drink temptations these days. But, wow, we still were pretty shocked over this revelation.
Those were unintended consequences weren’t they?
It makes me think about how we all make choices every day. Even little choices. That turn into big consequences.
Her choice to sit on her beautiful screened in porch and have a couple of glasses of wine while relaxing and sharing life with dear neighbors turned into an extra 20 lbs of weight she had to carry around.
Imagine picking up 2 10 lb dumbells and toting that around with you and your pocketbook all day. Was it worth it? Maybe. Maybe not.
I could think of a a dozen instances in our life where little things turn into big things. That laundry basket that’s overflowing and suddenly you have no clean clothes. All the leftovers in the fridge and suddenly you have no more clean tupperware.
You yell at your kids and suddenly they have vanished into their bedrooms and you’ve got to make extra effort to regain your closeness.
You quit sharing your heart with your spouse (for whatever reason) and then a chill in the air is quite noticeable.
Thankfully there are things we can do to remedy all these problems.
The bad news is that it takes work. That’s where we often get stuck. That’s ok. I think that we can find the good or the silver lining to all of our mindless choices.
The trick is mustering up the motivation to stop doing something or start doing something. The drive. The initiative.
Maybe if you envision that clean laundry put up or that improved relationship, it will motivate you. You can also mentally go down that path of what it would look like if you continued on the same path.
What if my friend continued for the next 25 years drinking those 2 glasses of wine every night with her friends. Literally, and you do the math. She would have gained 500 more pounds!!!
So today, maybe take a few minutes to consider just one area of your life that has gotten just a little bit out of control. Has crossed over its boundaries.
Where are you feeling a little squeezed in, like those pants that don’t button anymore? I don’t believe it is ever too late to start making even the tiniest steps.
If you need support moving forward, find a friend you trust and ask for their help.
Seek a counselor. I help clients do this everyday. You can do whatever you set your mind to do.
Your thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behavior. It can be a good cycle of thoughts or an unhelpful or unhealthy cycle of thoughts that lead to behavior that leaves you with unintended consequences. And all of this is just about balance.
Maybe it won’t even take much effort to get those pants fitting a little better. Maybe it will take a good bit of effort, but I guarantee it will be worth it and you’ll feel so accomplished.